notmensa           

  interplanetary society for the stupid

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Test your pet's IQ

The notmensa online pet intelligence test.

 Because dumb animals are more intelligent than our members.

 

Online Pet IQ Test

 

1) If you crouch down on all fours and bark like a rabid dog. Does your pet . . .

 

a) Play the piano in harmony to your barking.
b) Drop down dead.
c) Eat the next level down in the food chain.
d) Eat you.

2) Ask your pet "What is the square root of 49?" Does he reply . . 
a) Paris
b) 7
c) Bugger off
d) Muslim

3) If you put your pet in front of a mirror he / she . . 
a) Brushes his hair
b) Recites a Shakespeare sonnet
c) Grabs a microphone and sings
d) Eats the mirror

4) Your pet spends his time playing with . .
a) The USA
b) Scrabble
c) His / her private parts
d) Your private parts

5) When confronted by a very loud noise, does your pet . . 
a) Crap
b) Crap on you
c) Smile inanely
d) Eat the very loud noise

6) Ask your pet "What is the capital of Paris?" Does he / she say . . 
a) USA
b) France
c) Paris is a city you dumb twat
d) 42

7) When you place a finger in front of your pet's mouth does he / she . . 
a) Eat it
b) Draw a smiley face on it
c) Shag it
d) Look you directly in the eyes and say, "What the hell are you doing?"

8) Which version of Microsoft Windows does your pet have on his / her computer?
a) 98
b) 2k
c) NT
d) 69

9) If you dropped you pet from the top of a large building would he / she  . .
a) Fly
b) Float
c) Fall
d) Fiddle

10) When you kiss your pet does he / she . . 
a) Vomit
b) Kiss back with tongue
c) Go out for a Marriage Application Form

Quiz script provided by

Disclaimer: Not Mensa do not undertake testing of any sort on monkeys, rabbits, dogs, cats or any other animals with an I.Q. greater than that of our societies members. This is not because we are an humane society – rather we just do not have the skills to participate in cruel, pointless testing on clever creatures. We do however reserve the right to partake of sweet and sour chicken on club nights and to eat haggis, pork pies and sausage whenever we like. No member of Not Mensa will ever be asked to undertake brain surgery to lower their intelligence – however, any member who consistently scores more than 85 will be banned from the society until they bring their intelligence under control. Should you be stupid enough to join or email list we will not bombard you with emails or pass on your details to any 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th party. (Party includes hen nights, disco parties and stag nights) We do reserve the right to email members information that may be of a totally boring and pointless nature and may not make sense to even the author. We also reserve the right to modify the rights without notifying members or actually writing these modified rights on the membership handbook or this website. All email questions regarding membership rights or any other matter will probably be ignored – unless incredibly funny.

 

   

 

 

 

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