After you complete the
following I.Q. test we will provide you with a complete and accurate
assessment of your intelligence quotient and a complex analysis of your
personality and character.
Provided
your IQ meets our stringent entry requirements you will be offered free
lifetime membership of notmensaand access to all the benefits and privileges
that this elitist interplanetary society provides.
1
The word
"dumb" can be created
using letters from the alphabet.
True False
2
The digits 22 are the same
as 22 read
backwards.
True False
Who cares
3
How many apples make a
pair.
2
None - these are totally
different types of fruit.
4
Which of the following proverbs is
closest in meaning to the saying, "Birds of a feather, flock
together."?
"The grass is always greener after a coat of
paint"
"Birds of a
feather, flock together."?
"Don't judge a book unless you have a law
degree"
5
( 9 x 23 x 143 x
5 x 11 x 4 x 42 x 0 ) equals
a big
number 0 Dante Gabriel
Rossetti
6
If you divide 100 by 25, what will you
eat for dinner?
Sausage
Burger
4
7
8 amputees are in a
hospital. What is the total number of their legs?
0 2 4 8 16
8
Two men, starting at the same point,
walk in the same direction for 12 meters. What is the distance, in meters,
between them?
12
24
0 They are just good friends!
9
The number 42 is the next logical
number in the following sequence of numbers: 42, 42, 42, 42, 42.
True False
10
How many fingers
am I holding up?
1
3
7 11
11
Contained in
the word "in" there is a word which has just one letter. What is
it?
i
n
insanity
12
According to Einstein's
theory of Relatives, your partner's mother would be:
Space and
space-time are not rigid arenas in which events take place. They have form
and structure which are influenced by the matter and energy content of the
universe.
Your mother-in-law
Velocity x a vast mass of blubber
13
During the time it
takes for a snail to crawl from point A to point C via point B how many
people are born in the world?.
33
3.14159265
D
14
There are 400 elephants in a herd. Some
have yellow and pink stripes, some are all purple and some are all red.
One third are pure red. Who went crazy with the spray-paint?
The zookeeper
Picasso
An innocent bystander
Anarchists
15
Sam is taller than
Bill, and Sam's little brother is
taller than Stuart. Since Graham is not the tallest one of the four, then when
one is a midget?.
Sam
Alice
A small bloke
16
If pigs could fly
all hats would be made of reinforced concrete.
True False
17
Of which country
is Paris the capital?
Scotland
New York
Japan
18
Which letter comes next in this series
of letters?
Y O U A R E B L O O D Y S T U P I
Q
D
28
19
A farmer owns 27
hens. Each is capably of laying 7 eggs each day but only 4 on Sundays.
Large eggs sell for 10 sheckles, medium eggs sell for
8 sheckles and small eggs for 3 sheckles. During
the 12 days fallowing Rogation Sunday the farmer collects all the eggs in
a wicker basket. He eats 12% of the eggs and on the way to market he drops
4%. Allowing for natural disasters and hailstones, how many days are there
in a week?
924
sheckles False
7 14
20
Which of these is the
odd one out?
odd
one
out
21
If it takes 1 man two hours to dig a
hole and 4 men 6 hours to dig 3 1/2 holes how many plumbers does it take
to mend a leaky tap?
12
4
(£100 call out charge + £80 per hour + £200
parts) x (the first number that comes into his head)
22
What is the Standard Gaussian
Distribution of : Median Average Mean
three 24.546123 Who gives a shit
Disclaimer:
Not Mensa do not undertake testing of any sort on monkeys, rabbits, dogs, cats
or any other animals with an I.Q. greater than that of our societies members.
This is not because we are an humane society – rather we just do not have the
skills to participate in cruel, pointless testing on clever creatures. We do
however reserve the right to partake of sweet and sour chicken on club nights
and to eat haggis, pork pies and sausage whenever we like. No member of Not
Mensa will ever be asked to undertake brain surgery to lower their intelligence
– however, any member who consistently scores more than 85 will be banned from
the society until they bring their intelligence under control. Should you be
stupid enough to join or email list we will not bombard you with emails or pass
on your details to any 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th
party. (Party includes hen nights, disco parties and stag nights) We do reserve
the right to email members information that may be of a totally boring and
pointless nature and may not make sense to even the author. We also reserve the
right to modify the rights without notifying members or actually writing these
modified rights on the membership handbook or this website. All email questions
regarding membership rights or any other matter will probably be ignored –
unless incredibly funny.
