notmensa

interplanetary society for the stupid

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notmensa - where the twin truths of wisdom and constipation congeal.

notmensa members strive for knowledge, understanding and longer tea breaks - believing that the latter will bring about world peace.

The following hypothesis is currently under consideration by our members.

The World is flat

Contribution from Hans Supp, Professor of Nonsology

I have proved through extensive scientific experiment and research that the world can not be round and must be flat ( or at least flattish - for I do admit that there are mountains and valleys and severe molehilling in some places.

In my first experiment I attempted to stand on a ball. I found that I could not balance for more than 57 seconds without falling off - fairly conclusive evidence for even after 27.214 years on this Earth I have not fallen off even once (though there are certain periods of sleep which to be honest I cannot fully account for)

Once I was let out of hospital I undertook my second experiment. This experiment involved water. I placed droplets on a flat surface (an art deco, walnut coffee table) and droplets on a round ball (orange, 22 cm diameter)

The droplets on the ball ran off immediately whereas those of the coffee table remained static.

As the world has a vast amount of ocean I can thus extrapolate from my experiment that if it were round the water would run off leaving a planet which was dry and barren.

I have given a number of lectures at the Mansfield State Mental Home where I live and believe me most of the inmates here are convinced by my hypothesis.

Contribution from Stephanie Smith, Professor of Flatulencology,

If the world were round, say like a tomato, then wouldn’t maps be in the shape of a ball? I have never seen a ball map.

If the world were round, say like an orange, then wouldn’t it be dark in one place, whilst being light in another? Wherever I go, it seems to always be either light or dark; never both at the same time, thus the world is flat.

If the world was round, say like a cherry without the stalk, then wouldn’t everything on the bottom just fall off???? The world is flat, right, otherwise, like half of the population of the Earth are like just floating around somewhere.

Finally, the moon (edam cheese, I think) is round, so the earth must be the opposite – flat (two of the opposite kind attract, so the moon and the earth are never far apart).

Join the debate by submitting a thesis of not less than 100 words.

( After joining notmensa send contributions to notmensasociety (at) yahoo.co.uk )

The best thesis will be added to the website and the most original contributors will be awarded an Honorary Professorship of notmensa

notmensa - playground to the sycophantic

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Disclaimer: Not Mensa do not undertake testing of any sort on monkeys, rabbits, dogs, cats or any other animals with an I.Q. greater than that of our societies members. This is not because we are an humane society – rather we just do not have the skills to participate in cruel, pointless testing on clever creatures. We do however reserve the right to partake of sweet and sour chicken on club nights and to eat haggis, pork pies and sausage whenever we like. No member of Not Mensa will ever be asked to undertake brain surgery to lower their intelligence – however, any member who consistently scores more than 85 will be banned from the society until they bring their intelligence under control. Should you be stupid enough to join or email list we will not bombard you with emails or pass on your details to any 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th or 5^th party. (Party includes hen nights, disco parties and stag nights) We do reserve the right to email members information that may be of a totally boring and pointless nature and may not make sense to even the author. We also reserve the right to modify the rights without notifying members or actually writing these modified rights on the membership handbook or this website. All email questions regarding membership rights or any other matter will probably be ignored – unless incredibly funny.

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